Its Better Than

Lonely is better than stay with someone that you couldn't love them ever...

Lonely and memorizing you all time, is better than stay with someone whom I can't love them...

I'm lonely
is someone there still can give me one second as medicine while I'm sick like this? still all medicine aren't work on me.. just one second after it you can go again l-)


tell her I need you one second l-)

Its Better Than

A gal is standing in the rain, without umbrella, without jacket, just cold and pain are her friends... She is waiting someone there to share her an umbrella...

A gal is crying over the riverview, her eyes stares deep into river flow... She is waiting someone there to remove her tears...

A gal is looking at twilight in the beach corner, her face smiling, the twilight is sparkling the tears on her eyes... She is waiting someone there to back her smile...

That gal has been forgotten by her hubby...

A Gal

A gal is standing in the rain, without umbrella, without jacket, just cold and pain are her friends... She is waiting someone there to share her an umbrella...

A gal is crying over the riverview, her eyes stares deep into river flow... She is waiting someone there to remove her tears...

A gal is looking at twilight in the beach corner, her face smiling, the twilight is sparkling the tears on her eyes... She is waiting someone there to back her smile...

That gal has been forgotten by her hubby...

A Gal

A gal is standing in the rain, without umbrella, without jacket, just cold and pain are her friends... She is waiting someone there to share her an umbrella...

A gal is crying over the riverview, her eyes stares deep into river flow... She is waiting someone there to remove her tears...

A gal is looking at twilight in the beach corner, her face smiling, the twilight is sparkling the tears on her eyes... She is waiting someone there to back her smile...

That gal has been forgotten by her hubby...

In The Closed Eyes

In the closed eyes,
I seen you
In the closed eyes,
I felt warm
In the closed eyes,
I tried to touch him
In the closed eyes,
I knew tears fall to cheeks
In the closed eyes,
I took deep long breath
In the closed eyes,
I heard known voice said, "my babe don't cry please,"


[blockquote]Just in the closed eyes, I could memorizing you for myself...[/blockquote]

In The Closed Eyes

In the closed eyes,
I seen you
In the closed eyes,
I felt warm
In the closed eyes,
I tried to touch him
In the closed eyes,
I knew tears fall to cheeks
In the closed eyes,
I took deep long breath
In the closed eyes,
I heard known voice said, "my babe don't cry please,"


[blockquote]Just in the closed eyes, I could memorizing you for myself...[/blockquote]

In The Closed Eyes

My time is over
My life is changing
My future is re-build
My dreams are burned
In this 3rd chance of life I woke up without blood in my veins :)

I am standing in the rain,
no unbrella
no jacket
wet
cold
water which is flowing over me, fall down my body and became red
maybe because its mixed with bloody
bloody bloody bloody
3rd life isn't means bloody stopped
breathing breathing

I just came back from hospital today, since two days ago admitted.


give me more life God, I still wanna see him more long...

3rd Chance To Life

My time is over
My life is changing
My future is re-build
My dreams are burned
In this 3rd chance of life I woke up without blood in my veins :)

I am standing in the rain,
no unbrella
no jacket
wet
cold
water which is flowing over me, fall down my body and became red
maybe because its mixed with bloody
bloody bloody bloody
3rd life isn't means bloody stopped
breathing breathing

I just came back from hospital today, since two days ago admitted.


give me more life God, I still wanna see him more long...

Night Feat My Lonely

Im Lonely

Im in hospital, again, sick..
the 'Im Not Perfect' and 'Miss You Honey', sent me to this hospital again...

Learned how to live without.. Tried hard to learn, but this body not strong as it seems. I don't wanna live without..

This gonna 3 months come but I still.. I still... Need how much time?? Tell me I will buy the time all, anything to make me to forget him l-)

Coffee Jazz [CHAPTER 1]

[PART 1]

Here I am, with a cup of warm capuccino float. I didn't touch it till now. A boy and a girl there made me wanna follow them. He is seeing a girl whom sitting in front of her laptop in the corner of this longue. Her beautiful eyes shine love. I sure that. Everybody see then they also would know that love shine from its. Its so familiar for me because that kind of shine also was mine of my x'girlfriend.

The girl, made he wanna come to and say hi. He just wanna. No reason. Now he is standing, with his cup of cappucino float, near the beauty girl,

"may I join?"

The girl up her head and seeing who talk with her.

"ok,"

A short answer given, made he gives his right hand, "I am Mezza. Mezza El-Chienne,"

"Luna. Luna Chastivyra,"

The girl replied, not with her hand but with her little smile, I don't know what she said but seems she told him her name. After that, she back to looking at her laptop. Seems she is typing something. She didn't say anything after told him her name. Just Mezza sitted in front of her just now. He is silent, look at the girl.

"busy?" Mezza said,

The girl is not answering, she just little smiling with still looking at her laptop, then continue typing.

"seems looks so interseting," Mezza asked after sometimes.

"what?" the girl is looking at him.

Oh... the girl said "what" in my language, swear I was't know that she could undertand my language. If you see her, I sure you also would thought the girl came from other country. Seems Mezza also did.

"your activity," Mezza said. "wow anyway you could speak my language... I thought you..." he didn't continue his sentences because the girl responed,

"oh, yes I could" the girl continue, "typing. I am typing," still with my language.

Ah. So cold girl she is. I sure Mezza know that she is typing. But what typing is it that he wanna know. Right now their conversation is in my language.

"sorry..."

"what?"

"yah sorry but I am not no welcome to you... I just..."

"oh its ok."

"I just... just like in the ground of the sea."

"what?" Mezza stares deep into the girl

"since yesterday. how your feel when you are in the ground of the sea?" the girl asked seriously.

"dark... hard breathing... because you would feel something hit your chest which is make you hard breathing with the most minimum oxygen there. feel so cold too... hard moving your body... feel so weak.. that your feel?" Mezza answered

"exactly!" she is looking at Mezza with not-believe-stare-eyes.

"my x'girlfriend ever told me that,"

"what?"

"yah, was she tell me, 'I am in the ground of the sea' then she told me that I told you about how the feeling in the ground of the sea...."

"oh..."

Just that came from her as answer. I know sure that the girl also could see a wet eyes of Mezza. Ya, Mezza's eyes wet. The tears sparkling, maybe wanna fall right now.

"sorry what happened," the girl asking

"just missing her..."

"where is she"

"she... is no longer in this world.. she... she leave me forever three years ago,"

"oh sorry..." I know the girl spechless. So do I. But Mezza is continuing,

"do you know your eyes... was her mine. your voice after we talked, I sure that also was her mine. then you talked about ground of the sea... totally I remembered her just now. since first time I saw her, I couldn't see other girl. all in her, made me couldn't see other girl, until now,"

A bip came from my laptop. Right now I got an email. I am checking.

Thank u for ur spirit. I knw ma life is precious 'cause I hv friends such kind of u. Thank u fr knew ur place. U knw all, I told u all. Um sorry if I just can say thanks. But um really thanks for this. Thanks fr remind me to be forceful gal then um to be. Thanks for told me tat um great, tat um strong, thanks for removed ma tears. I love him, n u rite tat I must be strong. Now um hea, in his country, ur country too na. Um in Dhaka. I knw u thr, in different city. Sorry jst tell u rite nw. I jst arrived this afternoon. I even didn't told him tat um wanna come hea. I jst gonna meet him this nite.

That email, from my friend. She is most strong girl that I ever know. No other could be like her I sure. Her love is so strong. I am not remember how much boy that I knew they propose her but no one could take a place on it even just little. She never give other place and chance to them to do. Her life, heart, mind, and soul, is just given for his boyfriend. That what made me wanna always be beside her. To make her always strong, make her keep standing, remind her to still keep breathing, everytime she felt she fall. I have not meet her yet, I do not know her face yet, but I could imagine she is a nice girl.

I am replying the email,

Wew. I am in Dhaka. Came from Khulna last night. Where are you?

I am waiting her reply. I am seeing Mezza, tears falling down in his cheek.

"I am sorry to hear that," the girl said.

"I am sorry but I won't make you mind this, sorry I told you this all," Mezza said then drink his cappucino float.

"Its ok.. nice to meet you," the girl said then she is looking at her laptop again, then she is typing.

I thought she finished typing because she is now looking at Mezza, about two seconds, then move slowly her head to see other side of this room. She is seeing the big aquarium. She silent for sometimes before say,

"giving up doesn't always mean you are weak. sometimes it means that you are strong enaugh to let go. are you think so?" she now looking at Mezza.

Mezza is smiling, "don't ever give uup if you still want to try, don''t ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go..."

I could see that the girl is taking long breathe after hear what Mezza said.

"we enjoy warmth because we have been cold. we appreciate light because we have been in darkness. by the same token, we could experience joy because we have known sadness," the girl continue, "seems you still not let her go,"

"to find a girl just like him your chances are so few. my eyes sore from crying. within her, I lose my self," Mezza said.

"but without her, you find yourself wanting to be lost again, aren't you?"

"you all right,"

What are they talking made me didn't see that I got new email. Again from her.

um in Radison. lounge. with purple cloths grey jeans. only me with. find me.

Just one second after read I know the girl in front of Mezza, is she... Luna... my close friend.....



iKainheRe:::: tHe fRienDLy kinDLy cHeeRy giRL ::::

Are You Sure You Care?

Saya emang sengaja ngejauh
kalo emangnya care, peduli, dan bener sayang sama saya seperti apa katanya,
dia gga akan menjadi jauh
seharusnya gga ikutan ngejauh dan berubah

Saya cuma pengen tau ajj
sebatas apa dan sejauh apa komitmennya sama apa yang dia ucapin
saya gga ambil pusing
dengan yang namanya love in the first sight
apalah

if you love someone, that someone couldn't be replaced ;) is it?

Let's see the result of this test! :)



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Just The Name of Comfort

Hmmmm..
no more than just a feel of comfort
and I won't more
ya
karna emang ini sebates rasa nyaman ajj
dan nyambung
udda
no more

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Kau Tak Pernah Kehilangan Sesuatu yang Tak Pernah Menjadi Milikmu

Jangan mainin perasaan orang lain hanya karena kau tak yakin dengan perasaanmu sendiri.

Terkadang senyum bukan berarti seseorang tersebut bahagia, atu marah, atau apapun, hanya saja dengan itu lebih mudah daripada menjelaskan.

Tak perlu untuk gga rela kehilangan sesuatu yang tak pernah menjadi milikmu. Akupun sadar itu. Aku bukan kehilangan karna aku tak pernah memiliki. Aku hanya sempat merasakan. Dan itu sudah cukup... cukup.. untuk merasa.. tak ingin kehilangan.. =)

Ego Tak Kan Melihat Sebuah Niat Baik

Hi Guys..

Kau pernah berniat baik tapi tak dihiraukan?

Semalam tadinya dengan aku minta maaf aku berharap semua bisa clear, dan gada lagi salah paham, dan aku bisa jadi tau letak kesalahanku dimana. Nyatanya dia gga bisa diajak baik. Moco ketikane malah marai mbrebes mili njup akhire nangis tenan 15 menit ra mandeg... Gampang yah nyakitin perasaan orang yang bahkan gga punya salah apa-apa padamu...

Aku menyerah...
God please safe him always in happiness. My pray belong to him. Wish all the best for him.

Sebaiknya Bagaimana

Dia memang hanya dia
Ku slalu memikirkannya
Tak pernah ada habisnya
Benar dia benar hanya dia
Ku slalu menginginkannya
Belaian dari tangannya
Mungkin hanya dia
Harta yang paling terindah
Di perjalanan hidupku
Sejak derap denyut nadiku
Mungkin hanya dia
Indahnya sangat berbeda
Ku haus merindukannya


Ku ingin kau tahu isi hatiku
Kaulah yang terakhir dalam hidupku
Tak ada yang lain hanya kamu
Tak pernah ada takkan pernah ada

Benar dia benar hanya dia
Ku slalu menginginkannya
Belaian dari tangannya

Mungkin hanya dia
indahnya sangat berbeda
Ku haus merindukannya

Ku ingin kau tahu isi hatiku
Kaulah yang terakhir dalam hidupku
Tak ada yang lain hanya kamu
Tak pernah ada takkan pernah ada
Ku ingin kau selalu di fikiranku
Kau yang selalu larut dalam darahku
Tak ada yang lain Hanya kamu
Tak pernah ada takkan pernah ada

Tulisan diatas ditulis dengan hati.. itu juga yang akhirnya membuatku mengalahkan perasaanku sendiri, atas dirinya. Dirinya yang mungkin sekarang tak lagi menghiraukan aku.

Yap, gada gunanya kau berharap atas seseorang yang telah manjadi milik orang lain, seseorang yang telah memiliki seseorang, seseorang yang masih mengharapkan seseorang, dan seseorang yang masih belum bisa melupakan seseorang... rasa yang ada padamu akan membuatmu tidak egois. Bukankah kau tidak perlu memilikinya untuk bisa mendoakannya, kau tidak perlu memilikinya untuk memastikannya bahagia, kau tak perlu memilikinya untuk memberinya perhatian penuh... Kau bisa melakukan yang terbaik untuknya tanpa memilikinya, disitulah ada cinta yang sebenernya... Tuhan Maha Tahu.

Perbincanganku dengan seorang kakak yang merupakan kakak paling aku sayang dan satu-satunya kakak yang aku punya saat ini,

"tantik gpp pan?"

"gpp atas?"

"dgn perubahan yg tjd ma dia"

"teros kalo papa ya aku gga isa napa2in toh"

"maksude gini,"

"gmn:-#"

"yen trus g diperhatiin, dy g care lg, nganggep tantik dah g lg istimewa. . . tantik bs trima?"

aku pengen jawab "nggak..." karena air mataku menetes saat itu dan gga bisa berhenti setelah 5 menit, tapi aku malah jawab,

"gpp.. gga perlu berharap sm orang yg punya pasangan, orang yg nunggu seseorg, or orang yg blm bs lupain seseorg"

"bener"

"jujur ya, sy nangkep tantik sdikit kehilangan dia,"

"perhatian, care na dy.." lanjutnya

"sppun kalo di posisi aku psti kehilangan kak.. secara drastis bgt dia berubahnya"

"kek blm bs trima jg saat dicuekin"

"gga kak... bkn gga trima.. gada hak buat gga trima.."

"sedih dan kehilangan saja brarti"

"moga aku bs cepet ikhlas kak..."

"amin"

iKainheRe:::: tHe fRienDLy kinDLy cHeeRy giRL ::::